Thursday night was the first night of two nights of what is known here as the Cider Celebration. It's a huge concert consisting of Point Loma's vocal ensembles such as the Concert Choir, Extol, and Chorale, as well as some cute little skits to round off the show as one for the whole family to enjoy :) We had four shows this weekend, two of them were Thursday and two were last night (Friday).
Anyway, I bring this up because I took part in the festivities. I sang with the Chorale and I had an interesting first night. It's interesting to note that while I do lead worship, very often in fact, I've never done any singing on stage without my guitar or without a band or not strictly doing "worship" music. So, I was extremely out of my element and also extremely nervous. Like, I really was freaking out and on Friday, my heart was literally beating through my chest, it was visible and you could feel it. I've never been nervous to that degree before because of something like this. I was mainly nervous because I happened to have a solo in our last piece. It's a gospel peace so you'd think it would be my element (ha), but definitely not on stage with a choir. My nervousness and panic became doubt in myself and my doubt turned into complaining to my friends repeatedly saying "I can't do it. I don't want to do it." With that mindet, I was right. I wouldn't be able to do it if I was talking myself out of doing it. Luckily, I have a very good friend that basically told me to shut up and that I'd be fine. I knew that I would, and what she said was exactly what I would've told someone who was nervous about doing something. "You'll be completely fine when you realize that it's not about you. It's about glorifying God." And it was. I was nervous because I was thinking about people.
We go on stage and do three songs, entitled "Shepherd's Echo Carol," "Sing We Now of Christmas," and a Spanish piece callled "Riu Riu Chiu." They went well, and I didn't mess up really at all which was a breath of fresh air.
Then the time came for the last song "Jesus, Oh What A Wonderuful Child!" and the chorale's favorite. My solo comes towards the end of the song so right before, I shot a quick prayer up to Dad and just asked for strength. It wasn't really that big of a deal any way. It's not like I was intending to steal the show, I just wanted to sound good and not ruin the show. Regardless, I sang. I sang my little heart out. I gave all I could give. Still, however, I was critical of myself afterwards and knew it wasn't how I would've like it to be exactly. But that's just the nature of Orin. I'm not perfect (obviously). Then, in the second show, I was now more comfortable and I sang it, in my opinion, better this time. It made me happy but I still could only think of what can I do to make it better? What I can I do to REALLY give it my best?
Once that was all over, we did a piece that was only the men in all the choirs, and sang "O Holy Night." That was cool too. I felt like it was pretty powerful. It was actually really funny because in the song, there's this one part that goes extremely high and I just decided to go for it, even though it wasn't my note. So, I went for it, loudly, and it sounded awful. I, and the person in front of me had a hard time not laughing and the last minute of the song was hard to get through. As soon as the curtain closed, we died laughing (not literally mind you, I'm still here)
Lastly, we did a song "The Lord Bless You and Keep You" with sign language accompanying our voices. For this song, all vocalists from the night lined up around the auditorium and sang to the people near them. The point of this is to hopefully seem like someone sitting in the audience is receiving a personal blessing. The lyrics we sing;
Anyway, I bring this up because I took part in the festivities. I sang with the Chorale and I had an interesting first night. It's interesting to note that while I do lead worship, very often in fact, I've never done any singing on stage without my guitar or without a band or not strictly doing "worship" music. So, I was extremely out of my element and also extremely nervous. Like, I really was freaking out and on Friday, my heart was literally beating through my chest, it was visible and you could feel it. I've never been nervous to that degree before because of something like this. I was mainly nervous because I happened to have a solo in our last piece. It's a gospel peace so you'd think it would be my element (ha), but definitely not on stage with a choir. My nervousness and panic became doubt in myself and my doubt turned into complaining to my friends repeatedly saying "I can't do it. I don't want to do it." With that mindet, I was right. I wouldn't be able to do it if I was talking myself out of doing it. Luckily, I have a very good friend that basically told me to shut up and that I'd be fine. I knew that I would, and what she said was exactly what I would've told someone who was nervous about doing something. "You'll be completely fine when you realize that it's not about you. It's about glorifying God." And it was. I was nervous because I was thinking about people.
We go on stage and do three songs, entitled "Shepherd's Echo Carol," "Sing We Now of Christmas," and a Spanish piece callled "Riu Riu Chiu." They went well, and I didn't mess up really at all which was a breath of fresh air.
Then the time came for the last song "Jesus, Oh What A Wonderuful Child!" and the chorale's favorite. My solo comes towards the end of the song so right before, I shot a quick prayer up to Dad and just asked for strength. It wasn't really that big of a deal any way. It's not like I was intending to steal the show, I just wanted to sound good and not ruin the show. Regardless, I sang. I sang my little heart out. I gave all I could give. Still, however, I was critical of myself afterwards and knew it wasn't how I would've like it to be exactly. But that's just the nature of Orin. I'm not perfect (obviously). Then, in the second show, I was now more comfortable and I sang it, in my opinion, better this time. It made me happy but I still could only think of what can I do to make it better? What I can I do to REALLY give it my best?
Once that was all over, we did a piece that was only the men in all the choirs, and sang "O Holy Night." That was cool too. I felt like it was pretty powerful. It was actually really funny because in the song, there's this one part that goes extremely high and I just decided to go for it, even though it wasn't my note. So, I went for it, loudly, and it sounded awful. I, and the person in front of me had a hard time not laughing and the last minute of the song was hard to get through. As soon as the curtain closed, we died laughing (not literally mind you, I'm still here)
Lastly, we did a song "The Lord Bless You and Keep You" with sign language accompanying our voices. For this song, all vocalists from the night lined up around the auditorium and sang to the people near them. The point of this is to hopefully seem like someone sitting in the audience is receiving a personal blessing. The lyrics we sing;
"The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord lift His countenance upon you.
And give you peace. The Lord make His face to shine up on and be gracious unto you. Amen"
A lady that was right in front of me was staring at me the whole time (which was actually a little awkward) and when we were done she looked at me tenderly and said "You have a beautiful voice." That made me so bubbly inside. And there it was. Night one.
The next night was very similar. Third of four shows: Three songs and then the gospel one. On that gospel one, I cleared my mind again and went for it and apparently it was the best one so far. That made me happy because I wanted to do it better every time. O Holy Night went well again, I once again tried the high note, but quietly this time, and I still butchered it. Oops. Then "The Lord Bless You and Keep You."
And then the last show was finally upon us. Once again, first three songs went well, nothing too terrible. And then the gospel piece again. Knowing it was my last night, I really gave it my all, and I guess it was better than the one earlier in the night. Score. O Holy Night once again went well until the high note. I knew that if I didn't go for it, I'd regret it later so I went for it. It was worse than the night before!!!! And even louder. I and the person in front of me were visibly laughing this time because it was that bad. Hahaha. Oh well. I did my best.
One thing I learned from this experience, even though you may be out of your element, God is still with you in any situation you're in. You've just got to depend on and focus on Him and not your circumstances.
The next night was very similar. Third of four shows: Three songs and then the gospel one. On that gospel one, I cleared my mind again and went for it and apparently it was the best one so far. That made me happy because I wanted to do it better every time. O Holy Night went well again, I once again tried the high note, but quietly this time, and I still butchered it. Oops. Then "The Lord Bless You and Keep You."
And then the last show was finally upon us. Once again, first three songs went well, nothing too terrible. And then the gospel piece again. Knowing it was my last night, I really gave it my all, and I guess it was better than the one earlier in the night. Score. O Holy Night once again went well until the high note. I knew that if I didn't go for it, I'd regret it later so I went for it. It was worse than the night before!!!! And even louder. I and the person in front of me were visibly laughing this time because it was that bad. Hahaha. Oh well. I did my best.
One thing I learned from this experience, even though you may be out of your element, God is still with you in any situation you're in. You've just got to depend on and focus on Him and not your circumstances.
That is all.
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